Sunday, March 31, 2013

KIXEYE CEO Sells Company to avoid more embarrassment!

Breaking News, San Francisco, CA ---- In a unprecedented move by KIXEYE, as of today, the company has been closed and the entire Unicorn Overlord Empire has been sold for 1.5 billion U.S. to Kabam.

An Official spokesperson for KIXEYE reported that after seeing all of the new 3D game offerings from the 2013 Game Developer Conference in San Francisco, Will Harbin, KIXEYE's dildo wielding CEO was quoted as saying "The competition is making our games better then we are!", and decided to sell the company to avoid any further embarrassment.

Will Harbin declined an official statement, but was heard mumbling under his breath "I'm taking my big, black dildo, and going home."

David Scott, Co-Founder and Executive Producer was reported to be under his desk in the fetal position after hearing the news, repeatedly yelling "I just want to blow shit up!".

As usual, Paul Preece, Co-Founder and Executive Producer for KIXEYE was no where to be found, but a note on his desk revealed that he was "Just here for the beer".

An Official spokesperson for Kabam says they have decided to keep most of the KIXEYE staff because it's really not their fault they were tricked by the KIXEYE Death Star. "Most of these kids have some talent, we will put that talent to good use".

Whatever the fate of this troubled company's ex-employees, one thing is certain. Step up your game, before someone takes it away from you...

See more official information here: http://ch2.battlevortex.tv

5 comments:

ROYALS said...

U JUST SUCK!

junglist said...

gotta be an april fools joke

Adrian Restick said...

Hey if they sort the bloody glitches out and honour their word on deals who cares the dicks have sold up !

Adrian Restick said...

Hey if they sort the bloody glitches out and honour their word on deals who cares the dicks have sold up !

robert franklin said...

This explains a LOT.